Online Comments: Can We Stop Being Careless?
A short guide to practicing mindfulness before hitting “send”.
“Change your plans. You have no chance.”
I read this comment on a Facebook group post. A group created to help each other when moving to Switzerland. Someone posted a long message explaining their situation in a detailed manner, and asking for advice on finding a job in the country even though they speak neither German nor French.
It hit me because this comment was followed by other ones:
“LOL. U r dreaming.”
“I don’t want to be mean but it sounds like a very bad idea.”
I tried to think, what is the main motivation for people to comment like that? Someone is vulnerable by sharing their personal life, asking for advice in a group that is supposed to be exactly the right place for it, and all they get are unhelpful comments with a touch of cynicism and mockery. Why?
Let’s bring in some mindfulness
In 2004, Bishop, S. R., et al. defined mindfulness as the ability to observe thoughts, bodily sensations or feelings in the present moment with an open and tolerant orientation toward one’s experiences. They described it as a form of mental training to reduce cognitive vulnerability to reactive modes of mind.
“Thus mindfulness is thought to enable one to respond to situations more reflectively (as opposed to reflexively).”
Mindfulness can have a key role to play in the case of online commenting. By observing our thoughts and feelings, we can comment in a more thoughtful way. To train our mind, here are 4 questions to ask before sending a comment:
- Why am I doing it? 🤷♂
- Is it useful?🎖
- Do I really have an opinion? 🤔
- Can it hurt? 💔
These questions can act as a filter for our own comments. They can guide us and help us decide whether or not to comment. Let’s look at each question in more detail.
Why am I doing it? 🤷♂
Reasons of commenting are multiple: wish to talk, interact, help, joke, encourage, share a different point of view... Freedom of speech is a fundamental human right and should be used, but let’s make sure we won’t regret what we say.
Is it useful?🎖
Always try to find the goal of the comment. If possible, avoid repeating something that has been said before. Instead, try to bring something new to the conversation, add more details, share a different point of view.
Do I really have an opinion? 🤔
We comment because we want to say what we think, what we believe to be right. This should be based on our experience and skills. You should know this topic and be open to a debate, to create an exchange that could perhaps be enriching for both parties.
Can it hurt? 💔
Comments need to say what we think but with respect and empathy. Feelings are messy and it’s easy to dehumanize someone we don’t see. If there is a disagreement with what has been said, try to understand the perspective of the other person and not trample it.
Advice for Community Managers
Along with this guide, which everyone is welcome to follow or not, I believe it is the responsibility of community managers to provide welcoming and safe spaces for users. We can ensure this by:
- 📃 Adding rules. Short and clear fundamental rules acting as a first layer to moderate the most extreme behaviours. Lay out things we clearly don’t want to see (e.g. No hate speech, No bullying, No spam).
- ⭐ Providing guidelines. Best practices, do’s and don’ts, concrete examples to promote a certain behaviour (e.g. Be respectful, Do not write messages in all caps, Do not overuse punctuation (!!!!)).
- 🤝 Getting moderators. Identify active and respectful members and get them onboarded as moderators. They can help ensure that both rules and guidelines are respected.
- 🚫 Banning users. Sometimes communication and user education are not enough. If users continue to break rules and guidelines or disrespect moderators, ban them. And if necessary, report ban evasions.
