How exercise helped me build resilience
Lessons learned in blood, sweat, and tears (especially sweat 🥵)
To be honest, I roll my eyes when I stumble upon the word “resilience” online. It is often used as a buzzword, associated with abstract quotes, advice or inspirational speeches but very rarely with concrete examples.
And yet, here we are! Because yes, once we set aside the fact that we can use this word for everything and nothing, it is a soft skill covering many interesting concepts such as vitality, positivity, engagement, relationships, meaning, achievement, and more.
To define resilience, I like Psychology Today’s definition:
Resilience is the psychological quality that allows some people to be knocked down by the adversities of life and come back at least as strong as before.
In this post I’m going to focus on a few lessons learned about resilience from exercising regularly, with the hope that they will resonate with you too, because with practice we can all become more ✨ resilient ✨.
📍Be in the moment
Back in January 2020, I set myself the goal of being able to do the toes-to-bar exercise before the end of the year. I was fascinated by this exercise and started training regularly with this goal in mind.
In March of the same year, the lockdown started in Munich. I had no access to a training area or a pullup bar. I felt like all my progress was dashed and I simply lost the desire to exercise.
In my bedroom, I kept exercising on my training mat only to increase my heart rate and speed up time. Without real satisfaction. Until one day, I randomly noticed my pushup technique was not so bad anymore. And from that point on, I started to focus on improving the way I did pushups. Here and now. By paying attention to my technique and seeing small progress, I started to enjoy exercising again.
Now, in October 2021, I still haven’t mastered toes-to-bar but along the way I learned other advanced exercises. That’s the first lesson learned: by accepting this setback and allowing myself to be in the moment, I felt empowered and ready to take action, to keep moving towards new goals.
🔜 Think long term
I faced a bodyweight workout named “ATHENA” many times over the last few years. It is made of 5 rounds of climbers, situps, and squats with a few seconds of rest. Repetitions are decreasing and follow the pattern 25 / 20 / 15 / 10 / 5.
The first time I did this workout in August 2018, it took me almost 17 minutes to complete it. Since then, I have faced this workout several times and I have never had the same result.
In September 2020, I did this workout in just 7 minutes and 6 seconds. Almost 10 minutes less than the first time. This time is still my personal best. It took me over two years to get this result but when I look at the graph I see I had ups and downs but overall I was improving my time and technique.
The lesson learned is that commitment and rituals you develop behind your exercise practice are important to achieving your long term goals. While it may not always be tangible, find ways to visualize your progress, get the big picture, and accept that it will take time.
Last but not least, I did this personal best at a community training in a park, surrounded by people doing the same exercise, which brings me to the next lesson.
🤝 Other people matter
The majority of my best performances have been in group training but more importantly, the shared experience and support of others is a real game-changer when you exercise.
I remember doing a very hard workout (for my fitness level) in 2018. It was during a group training, I was definitely out of my comfort zone and I had to stop for several minutes because I couldn’t breathe anymore.
My workout buddies opened the window, gave me water and were there for me. I was embarrassed and probably said something like “okay, that was fun, see you later!” but some of them noticed that my stopwatch was still on and motivated me to finish this workout.
Alone, I would have stopped. With their support, I found the courage to keep going, they encouraged me, did a few repetitions with me, and they clearly helped me push myself through.
The lesson here is to surround yourself with the right people. Those who see you at the bottom and do not take advantage of it but who are here to uplift you. People who have a team spirit, non-judgmental and supportive. As a bonus, it inspired me to become this kind of people. Oh, and also those who cook and share post-workout snacks!
🛑 Know when to stop
“I’m not running but I have this weird pain in the flat of my foot, I wonder what can I do to stop it?” as I complained and described the type of pain I was having, a friend of mine replied “stop jumping for a while, it sounds like your foot is taking too much impact”.
It took me a few hours to figure it out as I had no memory of doing any jumping exercises recently. But that same night, while exercising, I realized what I was doing wrong. The pullup bar of the training area was so high (for me) that every time I stopped using it, I had to do a big jump to get to the ground. I had been doing this movement for weeks without even realizing it but my foot sent this signal, I had to accept it and stopped using this bar until it got better.
And that’s the last lesson learned: to build resilience, you need to be willing to stop. Ignoring this pain would most likely lead to an injury. Self-control, recovery and acceptance are key. Exercising helps me to understand my limits and to accept them. It is a work of everyday to accepting myself and my life exactly as they are right now but it’s worth it. 💪
